“Identity”: Who am I? Where am I going?

The term “identity” seems to be particularly prominent in our society. It’s used in every conceivable way: personal identity, cultural identity, professional identity, gender identity, and so on.

Connecting with our identity is, in a way, connecting with ourselves in a hyperactive society where we tend to lose ourselves more and more. It’s a way of searching for meaning, of finding our place.

And yet, the concept is so complex that we can clearly wonder what lies behind it.

Ultimately, what is identity?

For Erikson, it is the “subjective and invigorating feeling of personal unity and temporal continuity.” It is a kind of internal coherence that allows us to feel like a unique being.

But it’s much more complex than that…

Identity is linked to the question of otherness.

Aristotle said it well: “We are social animals.” We cannot do without others. We need emotional bonds to flourish.

We define ourselves, to some extent, through our similarities and differences in relation to others. This is called the process of identification and differentiation.

Let’s take a concrete example: If I ask Jean-Jacques who he is, he will answer: “Jean-Jacques, 50 years old, born on April 20th.” But Jean-Jacques will quickly also refer to others: “Married to Ginette, father of Alfred, tax inspector.”

Identity is therefore linked to the social sphere, more specifically to our relationship with others.

Single or multiple identities?

Perhaps a little of both…

However we present ourselves, however we tell our story, despite the “fixed” basis of our identity, numerous external factors constantly redefine it.

Let’s try to explain this from different perspectives:

First, there is our official, administrative identity.

Our official identity is the one on our identity card. This one is fixed: surname, first name, date of birth, etc. It will evolve with our official status. We may eventually change our name, our sex, and perhaps one day add the concept of gender. But it will always represent the official, legal “us.”

There is something of a “fixed identity” in our beliefs, which is ultimately reassuring and comfortable. We are ourselves. A bit like a core that we feel is immutable in our self-perception. It serves, in a way, as the foundation of our social identity.

Then there’s the vision we have of ourselves.

We’re constantly telling our own stories. We incorporate new information, such as our life experiences or how we perceive ourselves. We’re perpetually reinventing ourselves. This is what we call autobiographical narrative or narrative identity.

If we had asked Jean-Jacques, “Who are you?” at age 20, he certainly wouldn’t have answered the same way he would at age 50.
Isn’t it incredible to think that we are both the author and the actor in the film of our own lives?

We can also talk about context.

Context will always tend to influence how we choose, consciously or unconsciously, to present our identity. Depending on the situation, our friend Jean-Jacques certainly won’t answer in the same way whether he’s facing a recruiter or potential new friends.

In concrete terms, depending on the context, his internal state, his choices, his life story, etc., Jean-Jacques’s identity will not be highlighted in the same way, will not unfold in the same way, and will subtly change.

Our identity is fluid, constantly evolving, even full of contradictions. This is what makes us incredibly interesting and also incredibly complex.

We are therefore both unique and multifaceted.

In conclusion

Identity is not really an easy concept to grasp and has a multitude of facets.

It is intrinsically linked to others and influenced by various factors (political, social, economic, familial, etc.).

It is not stable but constantly evolving, influenced by our experiences, the way we perceive them, and how we integrate them emotionally.

We can speak of multiple identities, all interconnected to form a coherence, a harmony, and allow us to achieve a sense of unity.

In short, we are complex beings, and that is what makes us rich!

Rebecca Saintes
Clinical Psychologist